Dog Days Are Over.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run
-The Dog Days Are Over by Florence+The Machines.


I've had a hard time with things from my past.  I've had a hard time being angry and hurting.  I ran away from my problems.  But you have to leave the baggage behind.  You can't carry all the burdens with you.  You can't hold on to the anger and the hatred and the hurt.  The betrayal and the frustrations.  Let it go.

Hang On.

I'm so stubborn, it's how I got here
So alone, feels like forever
Wanna swim away and breath the open air
But I feel so afraid, then I hear you say

Hang on when the water is rising
Hang on when the waves are crashing
Hang on, just don't ever let go

I'm so hungry, how can I stay here?
Starving for what I hold so dear
Like a hurricane it takes everything from me
Wake me from this dream

Hang on when the water is rising
Hang on when the waves are crashing
Hang on, just don't ever let go

Hang on when you are barely breathing
Hang on when your heart's still beating
Hang on, just don't ever let go

Three days, thirty years
So hopeless, doesn't matter
Don't say it's too late if you blink your eyes
The sun is rising, the sun is rising, oh

Hang on when the water is rising
Hang on when the waves are crashing
Hang on, just don't ever let go

Hang on when you're barely breathing
Hang on when your heart's still beating
Hang on, just don't ever let go
-Hang On by Plumb.

I just want to tell you that you can make it through this storm.  It's hard, but don't let go.  Keep holding on.

When Everything Falls Apart.

2 months ago, I was basically date raped.  I was extremely out of it and not even drunk.  I couldn't really give consent.  I was taken advantage of completely.  This was the day after my cancer scare started.  My first day back in St. Cloud.

I've been pushing people away.   I want to put a bullet in my head every day.  I feel hurt and angry and upset and I'm just sorry for all the people I've been hurting in anger.  Being used isn't fun.  But that doesn't justify it.

Sometimes, things happen.  One of my friends was physically assaulted last month.  Things get hard.  Things happen.  People hurt you.  I've spent the night basically crying while doing my homework.  Every morning, I wake up wondering why I even should get out of bed.  But I do.  I get up.  I breathe. I try to put myself together.  For the most part.

This past weekend, I got so drunk I can't remember what I did.  My point is this, sometimes, you fall apart.  Sometimes, you just feel like throwing in the towel. But you can't.  Yes, things are garbage right now.  Yes, I know how hard it is.  You feel like your entire world is caving in, so focusing on losing a bunch of weight, or treating others like crap, or pushing others away, withdrawing, and drinking to oblivion.  But I can tell you that it has to get better.

So hold on.  Because I have to believe that you are worth loving.  You are worth happiness.  You are worth good things.  You don't deserve to be used, thrown away, hit, hated.  You know, you deserve to wake up and live.  Every day.  Just keep going.