Why I'm Writing This

Originally wrote on: April 25, 2011.

This week, I was reminded of how far I have come.   One of my really great friends was suicidal and I was able to stay up on the phone with him for the night talking to him.  He didn't go through with it.  He texted me this morning saying, “thank you so much for being there.  You were my self-control when I couldn’t be.  You helped me see that there is another side and it can’t always rain. If you could get to the other side after all your crap, so could I.”
It really reinforced that I did live that way for so long.  I thought it would never stop raining.  I could never see the sun.  I couldn’t see the other side.   But I know that I’m there, most of the time, now.
I had been really praying about whether or not I’m supposed to go into psychology.  Because I’m so bad at school and you need at least a masters degree (ahem, 6+ years of school and at least a 3.0 GPA) and I feel like that was my answer.   I was such a lost person, and I know that God is what really got me through, once I got saved, it really did turn around, but I had a lot of help along the way.  If my therapist had given up on me, I probably wouldn’t be here today.
I’m writing this because I believe that someone out there needs some encouragement.  Someone out there needs to know that they’re loved. That they’re gonna make it to the other side.  One of my really great friends, who I met in treatment for bulimia, told me, there’s light, even in the darkest places.   I can’t tell you how true that is.  It’s become my mantra.  I tell myself that when I have hard days.  I know that I’ve come a long way, but I’m not finished.
Maybe you’re just starting on your road to health.  Maybe you’ve been there for a while, but you find yourself getting stuck.  Maybe you are not sure why you’re here at all and you feel lost.  I’ve been in all of those places, and there is light there.  There is a reason you are alive.  There is a reason to smile.  There is a reason to keep moving forward.  Wherever you are in your journey, I wish you luck.  I hope that you’ll keep going and I hope this encourages you.  And know, you are not alone.  I’m here with you, on my own journey, but we can walk together.
 This is me on my next 6ish years.  I wonder where God is going to take me.  But you’re welcome along for the ride.