Here's My Heart.

There's this one quote from Grey's Anatomy I absolutely love:

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them."  And there's another one that I also think fits me right now: "Intimacy is a four syllable word for, 'Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy.' It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without."

Since my ex, I haven't really let people in.  And I basically told myself to just be alone for the rest of my life because I'm scared of getting hurt.  But I've realized now that being an island and being okay with being alone and pushing others away isn't what's good for me, either.  I've realized that life is so freaking messy and people do things to hurt you and there is darkness.  But I've also seen some people do incredible things and I know that God is real in my life.  But I've realized that by pushing people off my island, I've been doing that to God, too.  And because I have been pushing God away and not letting Him be close to me, I've missed out on good things.  I've missed out on things like going out with people because I'm scared they'll all leave.  I've missed out on spending quality time with God because I'm convinced that I deserved to have what happened with my ex happen.

My point is this:  I know I need to let people in.  I know that God has to be number one in my life, but I can't keep pushing others away because I end up doing that to God, too.  And I've realized that I'm not meant to go through life alone.

Here's my heart.  Please don't break it.