Never Good Enough.

Everybody said she was a winner
No one knew the secret kept within her
Starving for perfection
Hating her reflection

She tries harder then the average teen
An overachiever with low self-esteem
Wants to walk like a star
But she takes it too far
She's never good enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight, 88
She's never good enough

Now her friends all know about her problem
They all try their best to try to solve them
She feels like she's on trial
But she's still in denial

She tries harder then the average teen
An overachiever with low self-esteem
Wants to walk like a star
But she takes it too far
She's never good enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight, 88
She's never good enough

Who's in control now?...
Who's in control now?...

Everybody said she was a winner
No one knew the secret kept within her

She tries harder then the average teen
An overachiever with low self-esteem
Wants to walk like a star
But she takes it too far
She's never good enough
Wants to be Mary-Kate
Perfect weight, 88
She's never good enough

She tries harder then the average teen
An overachiever with low self-esteem-Never Good Enough by Rachel Ferguson. While there are some things that annoy me, this song is a pretty good look at what it's like to have an eating disorder and the battle that it is.  The only thing that bothers me is the whole Mary-Kate thing, because every girl I've known with anorexia has told me that they didn't lose weight to look like a celebrity.  I've mostly had NOS and I never tried to be like Mary Kate, either.  
Anyway, with an ED, it can quickly become a huge problem.  You try so hard to lose weight and be good enough but you never reach your goals, because as soon as you reach one goal, it's not good enough, so you make more goals.  Who's in control now?  Not you.   You think by doing the behaviors that you are in control, but the ED has you wrapped up and you can't get out.  You're trapped until you give it up forever.
In Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher, which is one of my favorite memoirs, there is a quote in there that says "Gaining weight and pulling my head out of the closet was the most political act I ever committed."   You can say that the media triggers you, and that it's not fair that girls are expected to be thin, but at the end of the day, you have to realize that an ED is not the way to happiness, no matter what some people might want you to believe.   The truth is, it will rob you of everything in life that you hold dear.   But at the end of the day, you have to let the behaviors go.  You have to realize that most of the girls you see in the magazines aren't even real.  It's called airbrushing and photoshopping and some ads are even a compilation of random body parts, so some of those women that you see don't even exist!
You can stop the cycle though, once you realize that what an ED costs you is not worth the price of being thin or beautiful.  Once you realize that perfection doesn't exist, you can stop striving for this ideal that doesn't ever leave you satisfied.  What it leaves you is nothing but sorrow and misery and in some cases, seriously sick, malnurished, and in about 20% of people suffering, dead.
Eating disorders are not worth it.