For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic.

I admit it, I'm a pessimist.  I look at things darker than most would. When I like someone, I think things like, well they would never like me back.  Or I think we'd never work out anyway so why even bother?  When people tell me I'm being pessimistic, I tell them, no I'm not, I'm just being realistic.

But that's the thing, it's not realistic.  It's not realistic to be alone forever, or for things to always be bad, or to never work out in anything.  I'm not just talking about what I do when I like someone.  I do that when I have a test.  I do it when I have a job interview.  I do it so many times it's not even funny.

So what do you do when you find yourself being so negative?  2 weeks ago in therapy, my therapist asked me what I thought about myself.  I immediately went into a huge negative spiral and he said, stop for a minute.  Do you notice how you deflate when you talk about yourself, or when you talk about things that are pessimistic?  I hadn't even noticed!  Then he said, okay, deep breath.  What do you like about yourself?  I sat there for a few minutes, not saying anything.  When I finally said something, he said, do you see how you light up again?  Stop.  Take a break.  When you go into your negative spirals, you have to stop and retrain your brain to not think that way.  You actually have life in you when you talk about the good things.  You have to retrain your brain after years and years of low self esteem to actually like yourself.

I know, it's incredibly hard work, but stop and take a deep breath and write down all the things you love about yourself.  Retrain your brain after all those years of damaging things it thinks.